“I struggle with sin.” We all say it. Im saying it right now. But what does that mean exactly? Does it mean we stare it down like a contest but we always blink first? Does it mean we war against it or just shrug our shoulders and promise we will try harder next time?
Be honest. We each carry on “struggling” in sin, willfully choosing ourselves over God throughout the week, walk in to church on Sunday morning, sing a love song, and claim that “this will be the last time.” One question…how is that working out for you? Whats your record so far? 30 minutes? We should stop making promises to God we have no intention or ability to keep.
Often the promise we make involves some plan of our own design whereby we try things that have failed in the past but this time we will try harder to stop. We try harder, squeeze harder, hold on tighter…hold on until our knuckles turn white. Our plan in our flesh involves gritted teeth and repeated promises to never do it again. Only to fail time and time again.
Paul, chief among sinners, knew this all too well. In Romans 7:16-18 he reminds us of the cycle of stupidity that we all live in. That we do what we don’t want to do and don’t do what we do want to do. That even though we have the desire to do good, but not the ability to do it. In Romans 9:16 he reminds us that it doesn’t depend our own will or exertion but on God who has mercy.
Boy, isn’t this uplifting?
Ok, so how do we rest in the Holy Spirit and place ourselves in his hands to form us and shape us. We cant. He can. But how do we let Him? What does that look like?
Ill let you know if I figure it out but I think it’s a matter of focus. At some point the focus on the solution shifts to us and not Him. We decide its our burden to bear. Shifting our focus to our own guilt, shame, frustration. Not fully appreciating that is against “Him and Him alone that we have sinned and done this horrible thing.” (Psalm 51:4) Our sin mocks the God of the universe. True repentance begins when we understand the offense is against God.
Its not about trying harder to not fall again.
Its about falling towards Him when we fall.
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