First, please know he isn’t comparing you to a Victoria Secret model. His addiction is not about you. It’s not about how he sees you. It’s entirely about how he sees himself.
Porn isn’t about sex, it’s about escape.
Porn isn’t about pictures, it’s about control.
He thinks he is escaping from the pressures and disappointments of life into an environment that he can control. But the truth is there is no escape from life and the addiction is controlling him. It’s all an illusion. It’s a gateway. Its dangerous. And what is most pathetic is…he knows it.
It’s cotton candy. The illusion of being filled with the intimacy that he seeks and yet is so fleeting. He loathes it. He knows it’s repugnant. He hates himself for it.
This is our most frequent topic from the men that call 888-Need Him. They are desperately seeking and yet don’t understand the depth of God’s love for them.
What can you do as a wife? Hold his face in your hands, look deep in to his eyes, and tell him you know. Let him know how the shrapnel of his addiction hits you and your family. Tell him that Christ considers porn as adultery. That what you see in his eyes makes your soul run and hide. That it has turned him in to a stranger, cold and hard.
Boundaries, filters and accountability are useful and crucial to the healing but wont complete it. His only complete healing will come by (1) understanding the eternal cost of this horrific violation of God’s will and (2) finding a professional Christian therapist to walk him through the steps of recovery and (3) finding the joy and superior pleasure found only in discovering how much Christ loves him. A friend shared a fourth step with me tonight…he has to realize who he is in Christ and that he is not bound by the lies that Satan is telling him. He’s not inherently bad, ugly, repulsive, beyond help, or too screwed up to be redeemed. He’s been bought for a price, precious, unique, desired, and forgiven. Amen.
Help him discover that. Pray for that.
Latest posts by drewdickens (see all)
- Eager To Do Good - March 13, 2024
- Enhancing Athletic Performance: The Power of Christian Meditation in Barcelona World League Soccer - March 13, 2024
- Stillness in the Spirit: Embracing Christian Meditation in Modern Life - March 12, 2024